Fall Morning

*assignment 2011: write a brief story in 3 points of view. see how you can change it with each.

on a side note, I had NO idea where this story was going. I had a single sentence in my head when I started: she stood shaking. and an image, fall leaves. I am slightly concerned as to where my mind goes with these two ideas.. but here it is.

My favorite:

She stood shaking. In a way it fit in with the fall day, she matched the dead leaves shaking and twisting as they held on with deaths grip to their branches in the breeze. How could this have happened? Numb. Everything was so hard to feel, to understand. She couldn’t even see the people passing by on the path. She missed the little terriers antics while it was anxiously waiting on his master to start running again. She never saw the parents cooing over their newborn in the stroller. Two men slowed down from their run and asked her if she was ok and she didn’t even see their faces let alone hear there words. But she noticed the trees. Noticed how bare and full of death they were today. Not only minutes ago they had seemed lovely in color and simply embracing the change. Now she saw them as they were. Desperate decaying things that used to be vibrant and beautiful. “why?” the one whisper leaves her lips. Out of her silence comes a great racking “WHY????” as she collapses to the leaf covered grass. She doesn’t notice the people rushing in to her. She doesn’t hear the 911 call being made. All she hears are those words in her head over and over....”your son was shot and killed at school today. I am so sorry”.

Self:

I can’t feel my body. I should be worried about that right? God how did I think that brown leaves falling off a tree were beautiful? It’s nothing but death. All of it. Death. Oh God...This can’t be happening. Not my Scott. He had football practice today, I have his jersey in the car. He never finished his essay for next week. I can’t go home....home? Jared. Oh God I have to call my husband.... Jared. Oh God Jared our child! no no no, I can’t think. I can’t ...
“why?”
Looking down I see nothing but dead leaves covering the vibrant grass. Death covering all that is beautiful in this world.
“WHY????”
I can’t think. How could they just call and say that... who calls and says things like that? “your son was shot and killed at school today. I am so sorry” killed, killed... my Scott.



3rd person:

Laura stood shaking. I can’t feel my body, she thought, you’re supposed to be able to right? She notices all the dead leaves at her feet. God how could she have thought they were beautiful a minute ago? It’s all death. Death, oh God her Scott! How could this have happened? what do you do? home, there is no home anymore.. how can she walk through that door? She can’t even form full thoughts of her own. She doesn’t notice the runners, the antsy dogs on the trail, all she can hear are those words over and over “your son was shot and killed at school today. I am so sorry” Who calls and says things like that? one word finally escapes her lips, a whispered “why?” that whisper growing into a full throated cry of grief “WHY????”
She doesn’t even notice the people rushing up to her or the dead leaves crunching on her knees as she collapses. Truthfully she wouldn’t care even if she could see it.

I can’t do this, i can’t I can’t. Scott, my baby.... Her mind is riddled with half thoughts and the desperate attempt her body is making at staying numb so she doesn’t go insane. Like how at a bad car accident or crime scene the mind won’t let you truly see the horrors at first, won’t let you distinguish a body part truly. She didn’t want to feel.

I just want to fall asleep, never wake up. I can’t do this. Flashes of images of a coffin race through her head, bringing another sob. I CAN”T!!!