I wish you knew

 I wish you knew

Talking you off a ledge

Trying to find the words to remind you

Holding your hope in my hands

Holding your life in my words

Looking down with you

Praying this ends with a different view

Trying to find ways to help you see

Trying to help you feel what’s in me

I wish you knew

How strong you truly are

How much you have already survived

How much you have left to see

How much your little actions mean 

Reminding you of all the things to come

So many sunsets, sunrises, full moons and stars.

The scents of flowers on the breezes 

A thousand hugs in enfolding arms

Are the words getting through?

Can you understand how much we love you?

Is it simply a bandaid for a moment, skin deep but pointless,

Or am I able to stitch up enough to stop this hemorrhage of pain?

I wish you knew

How strong you truly are

How much is left to come

How much better things will get

How much power is in the word “yet”

I wish you knew

How scared I am right now

How the distance feels like a chasm

How words feel so feeble, like spidersilk when you need steel cable 

How much I ache to hold you until you’re able

It isn’t over

I promise if you let it, it isn’t over.

Katie: 3/6/24 4pm

The Nile-Lyrics NSFW

 When you leave

I’m standing in the Nile River It’s hard to walk but damn I’m a good swimmer Every word you speak leaves me dripping with anticipation Waiting and hanging on every syllable like it’s my religion I’m on my knees and ready to worship My Mouth open, I’m ready to take communion Hands folded together, Fingers laced and begging for mercy Eyes open or wrapped tight, my visions your fantasy I’m trapped and up against a wall But don’t worry I’m not runnin I’m gonna be here for it all Never walkin away baby I’ll always be comin Tell me a time and I’ll be there at sunup I’m always down, fuckin ready and ass up Just call my name or better yet just listen for yours I’ll make sure you can hear it through all a the rooms and on every floor

Again

 Heart races, stomach clenches
Beating butterflies watch your fists
Flexing madly, turning white
Instincts struggle; flee or fight

Another day, another way
Never again, said once more
Always sorry, always different
Never hurt the same way twice

Unlock the front door, brace for more
Waiting for the shoe to drop
Holding breath, and cleanching chest
Here I am, ready for that pop

Tears are locked up
Water tight doors, my eyes
Never show, nor admit
What they all know

If I never admit it to you
You'll never see my breaking glue
I'll keep smiling, seeing blindly
As the sun shines on through

Another day, another way
I'll never hurt the same way again...

Say it again.

mid 2000s

Stop-Lyrics

Whispering lips
Jiggling hips
It's what you came for
Reckless dancing
False romancing
Leading to a closed door

Teasing and breathing
Chest bare and heaving
Take a look at this prize
Now come up close for a price
Get crazy and wound up
Follow me around like a lost pup

Feel that heat rising higher
Your hands clench tighter
Look all you want 
But please don't touch

Hotter and Hotter
It's getting to be too much
Gonna burst? 
It wouldn't be a first

Closer, closer, you want to....

Stop.